I have been so driven into darkness once in my life that i was on the verge of practicing the dark arts. I was so fascinated with the idea of being invincible; free from peer suppression etc.
However i was preserved because i was seriously scared of making the choice of Satan over God. It was a period of struggle and of vital decision. I was confused and scared. Would practically run when i hear the sound of thunder, could hardly sleep at night when it rained because i was afraid of even my own shadow. I was so far away from the Light of God, i was not going to Church, though i was still trying to be “good” to people around me, but i totally gave up the hope of being with God anymore.
Where i lived, two girls would knock at my door on Sundays to practically drag me to a nearby Catholic Parish, sometimes they succeeded, sometimes they failed.
Only a few years before i was a well known preacher, which i began when i was in primary school (people find it hard to believe). I was inspired by my Father and Mother, to listen to the Church and pray my Rosary daily. Dad was inclined to the Mass, Mum was inclined to the Rosary. However, when i lived alone i lost all those traditions and teachings.
A period of grace came for me, when i was dating a girl i believed i loved so much. Immediately it got carnal, i lost peace the more. I would cry at night sometimes, wishing i were still the child of Mary i used to be from childhood. In the morning I’d still go back to my sins. One day, after prayer, i was moved by God to radically break free from every attachments whatsoever, i became free once more.
That period there was great battles with the enemy. He would bring temptations to me, trouble my rest at night, trying to make me lose hope. But one night, God gave me great strength by a promise he made me (can’t say what it was) (IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCES I HAVE HAD TILL DATE). Then i began to pray once more, though still confused, searching for the true religion.
I prayed like a Jew to see if i could get in touch with the One God who made all things, i failed. I almost left the Catholic Church, however i prayed to God, to direct me to the right path. It was only a few days when a Man called me after mass, asked me my name, and from then on became a teacher to me. Directing me on the path to true holiness, and God through him opened my eyes to see the hidden beauty; the grandeur of the Catholic Church. Funny enough, whenever i had a question in my heart to ask him, getting to his house he answered me without my asking anymore. The funniest part was he DID NOT KNOW, he was JUST MOVED BY GOD. I knew God was working, to him he was just teaching me things. It was just like magic, happening almost every time i went to his place. GOD !!! I was so CONVINCED that GOD LOVES and WISHES TO SAVE ME !
There were times i would worry about my soul, when i felt disturbed by unknown “forces”, when i could not sleep at night because of nightmares. This man taught me how to understand the Spiritual Life. From then on, i became totally at peace, sleeping and snoring my way through the night like a baby.
My friends, the greatest thing that has happened to me till date is the discovery of God, and the firm resolve to work for him. This Love-affair with Jesus is something i cannot sanely want to lose at ANY PRICE!, not pleasure, not money, not fame can make me give up this love. I have been more fulfilled, more contented. My life has become truly alive !
The only battle i have is my sinfulness, but i can never give up the firm resolution to seek his mercy, to grow, to keep abandoning sin, and keep growing in his love.
I invite everyone to fearlessly abandon their sins, to seek the Face of Jesus again, to seek him where he awaits us in the Sacraments. In the Confessional where he is not only waiting to forgive but also to heal us, in the Eucharist where he is so eager to pour himself into us, to be united with us, and to give us everything that he is.
Let us embrace this love today, you can never regret being loved by God and returning this love. It is awesome !